Parallels to first dates, social media stalking, making it official, and more PLUS one new Chief of Staff req @ a CPG startup that we're working on (check our job board for an EA role, too!)
Great read, Zaharo! What do you recommend when providing references for past roles you left as amicably as possible but the employer might have their own opinion? Curious about your thoughts, as in countries like the UK, legally they are only allowed to confirm with your references that you did work there, not ask how you were as an employee, etc.
In the US, candidates are not required to give a reference for every prior employers or managers, though those are the strongest ones. The requests I've seen come through from clients are 3-5 references per candidate, so the breakdown could be:
- 3 past managers
- 1 mentor
- 1 colleague
If you're on the job market and you want to use a prior employer as a reference, but haven't done the work to maintain the relationship, I would reach out to them and just share that it would be really meaningful if they could provide a *positive* reference for you, and ask if they're comfortable with that.
LOVED these parallels to dating. The way that I see the hiring process as similar to dating is that everyone needs to BE THEMSELVES! In both of these processes, the parties need to be themselves to discover if a partnership will truly be mutually beneficial. If they don't like who you are, things will not work out long term!
The hiring process is like dating in several ways IMO. Both involve an initial assessment phase to determine compatibility. There's the "first date" job interview where both parties try to make a good impression. The waiting period after the interview mirrors the anxiety of waiting for a second date. Ultimately, both are about finding the right long-term match - someone you're compatible with and shares your values. The parallels highlight the high stakes and uncertainty inherent in these pursuits, as we seek that elusive "perfect fit" in love or in our careers.
Great read, Zaharo! What do you recommend when providing references for past roles you left as amicably as possible but the employer might have their own opinion? Curious about your thoughts, as in countries like the UK, legally they are only allowed to confirm with your references that you did work there, not ask how you were as an employee, etc.
Thank you, Nathan!
In the US, candidates are not required to give a reference for every prior employers or managers, though those are the strongest ones. The requests I've seen come through from clients are 3-5 references per candidate, so the breakdown could be:
- 3 past managers
- 1 mentor
- 1 colleague
If you're on the job market and you want to use a prior employer as a reference, but haven't done the work to maintain the relationship, I would reach out to them and just share that it would be really meaningful if they could provide a *positive* reference for you, and ask if they're comfortable with that.
Good luck!
LOVED these parallels to dating. The way that I see the hiring process as similar to dating is that everyone needs to BE THEMSELVES! In both of these processes, the parties need to be themselves to discover if a partnership will truly be mutually beneficial. If they don't like who you are, things will not work out long term!
Thanks, Renata! I fully agree with you, authenticity is rule #1 in all things.
The hiring process is like dating in several ways IMO. Both involve an initial assessment phase to determine compatibility. There's the "first date" job interview where both parties try to make a good impression. The waiting period after the interview mirrors the anxiety of waiting for a second date. Ultimately, both are about finding the right long-term match - someone you're compatible with and shares your values. The parallels highlight the high stakes and uncertainty inherent in these pursuits, as we seek that elusive "perfect fit" in love or in our careers.
Great article Zaharo! I have often comparted the job interview to deciding to marry someone after date #3.